Take my Jesus plates, please

May 3, 2010 by Julie · 9 Comments
Filed under: Craig's List 

Originally Posted: Tue, 21 Feb 11:26 CST

PLEASE take my Jesus Plates

Date: 2006-02-21, 11:26AM CST

I have a set of 6 “Faces of Jesus Collector’s Plates” and I believe they are ruining my life. They were given to me by a very religious neighbor as a Christmas present. Ever since then, I’ve been having a stream of bad luck. Shortly there after, I broke off with my boyfriend, got a job transfer to a place I hate, had a bird poop on my head, AND I have remained celibant since the day I received those plates. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen: I haven’t gotten laid. I believe that by having these plates in my closet, and refusing to display them, I have created this ill luck for myself. Why don’t I display them, you ask? That’s because they creep me out. So, I figure the only way to clear up my karma is to give them away to someone who would proudly display them.

Please, serious inquiries only. We are talking about my life, ESPECIALLY my sex life. Please do not respond if you plan on damaging them or using them in manner in which they are not meant to be used. If so, you will get horrible karma. Jesus doesn’t play around.

PostingID: 135744279

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Calling all conspiracy writers

February 23, 2010 by Julie · Comments Off
Filed under: Craig's List 

NWO Savy writer (Hollywood)

Date: 2010-01-30, 2:48AM PST
Reply to: Click here for the full listing [Errors when replying to ads?]
NWO, CFR, building 7, club of rome, Rothschild, Jekyll Island,Secret societys. If these name stir up a passion in you read on. I need a writer to finish with me a final draft of a dark comedic allegorical script that deals with some of these issues.
I have a 1st draft that needs to be slightly reoutlined and then rewritten. I need a five senses conspiracy scholar who has cut past the flying saucers and lizards stuff and has a slight grasp on who is really scoring the puppet show we call civilization. I need this script done so I can begin shopping it around to various investors I know. I hope to direct it but then again I hoped for peace in the middle east. Ideally I would like to devote an intense month to finishing it. We could meet twice a week and write from home and compare notes. That said you would be doing most of the writing. 350$ a week but up for negotiations if you are highly accomplished. How important is credit to you?

You
Can make it to Hollywood twice a week.
Have finished a screenplay. IMDB is a plus. Sample or link to writing a must.
Know screenplay structure.
Know American culture in and out.
Can get a polished draft done in roughly a month in collaboration.
Will sign a NDA

  • Location: Hollywood
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: 350 $ a week

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The tale of the pope hats

February 22, 2010 by Julie · Comments Off
Filed under: Craig's List 

1,325 Pope Hats

Date: 2009-07-07, 3:17PM MST
Because of this terrible economy, I’m having to shut down my business. I have OVER 1300 Pope hats (replicas) that I REALLY need to get rid of. The pope hats came from China and are a little too small for most adult heads and are also irritating to the skin, so you would need to have long hair or wear a smaller hat underneath (just like the REAL POPE). Dogs do not like to wear these pope hats, but maybe a large cat or maybe a nice dog would wear one. My dogs will not but they are not very nice and always hate being dressed up like for Halloween when we tried to dress them up like batman but they became very very agitated and bit a neighbors kid. I will lock the dogs up when you come get all of these pope hats.

My wife is a devout catholic and she finds the presence of all of these pope hats all over the house to be blasphemous. I have pope hats in every closet, pope hats under the sing, pope hats full of other pope hats. She will not stop talking to me about getting rid of the pope hats and has started lighting candles all over the house for my soul but these pope hats are extremely flammable so its a problem in my house (there are pope hats everywhere)

I payed 10x what I’m asking for when I bought these pope hats. I still think there is a market for them maybe when the economy turns around. Act NOW! Don’t miss this great deal! I have 1,325 total (I counted this morning). 3 of them have some dog bites and one of them is burnt to a crisp, but you can take that one or leave it. Bring 2-3 strong friends.

  • Location: Tempe
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Here is the original craiglist post.

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Dancing Jesus

February 21, 2010 by Julie · Comments Off
Filed under: Craig's List 

I need a Jesus Christ for Sweet Sixteen (Midtown)

Date: 2010-01-26, 11:29PM EST
Reply to: click here [Errors when replying to ads?]
My daughters sweet sixteen is in 5 weeks from friday, she is a huge film buff. Her favorite movie of all time is Passion of the Christ and I want to surprise her with someone dressed as Christ to dance with her after she does her sixteen candles. We are holding the party at a well known club in New York City. Please get back to me ASAP with 4-5 sentences on why this is for you and a picture of you dressed as Jesus Christ

  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: Money is not a issue. State your price in email

I’m not kidding…here is the craigslist post.

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Aggressive Christianity

January 16, 2010 by Julie · Comments Off
Filed under: Craig's List 

The listing reads:

We print and distribute free Christian Literature. We can send you as much as you need for witnessing about Jesus and Salvation. As Christians we need to reach out more to the Lost that are dying without Jesus. This material is not your normal church suff it is Radical and Revolutinary just as Jesus was in his day. Just send us your information and we will send you a free 1 pound pack of material. Thank-You and God Bless Your Efforts. newbeginnings81@yahoo.com Our web site is http://www.aggressivechristianity.net P.S. Dont stay in your dead and dying church that will kill your on fire spirit that you have to serve God. Ask God to show you his will for your life.

Why is Jesus in jail? Anyway, I clicked on the link and found the site is run by these fellows:

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An ethical question? Or just a jab at gay marriage…

January 16, 2010 by Julie · Comments Off
Filed under: Craig's List, Politics, Reader Submissions 

(click on the photo for a clearer image)

Thanks, Tom, for the submission. As Tom says, “I ran across this on craigslist….could it be a jab at the Proposition 8 trial in San Francisco?” Quite possibly since the bestiality suggestion often comes from the Christian Right as both an actual concern and a cheap sarcastic form of rhetoric. Pat Robertson himself has said the ultimate conclusion of legalizing same-sex marriage would be the legalization of polygamy, bestiality, child molestation and pedophilia. Sadly I believe the same argument was used years ago when bi-racial marriages were the big fear. Don’t these morons having something better to do with their time?

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